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# of watchers: 287
| D20: 11 |
| Wiki-page rating |  Stumble! |
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04/05 05/06 06/07 07/08 08/09 09/10 10/11 11/12 12/13 13/14 14/15 15/16 16/17 17/18 18/19 19/20 20/21 | 9709 3870 3065 5676 4309 2879 5259 1697 0984 0756 0394 0177 0384 1677 0471 0285 0118 | 26.6 cpd 10.6 cpd 08.4 cpd 15.5 cpd 11.8 cpd 07.9 cpd 14.4 cpd 04.7 cpd 02.7 cpd 02.1 cpd 01.1 cpd 00.5 cpd 01.1 cpd 04.6 cpd 01.3 cpd 00.8 cpd 00.3 cpd | 09709 13579 16644 22320 26666 29545 34804 36501 37484 38240 38634 38839 39223 40900 41371 41656 41774 | 26.6 cpd/9709 cpy 18.6 cpd/6789 cpy 15.2 cpd/5548 cpy 15.3 cpd/5580 cpy 14.6 cpd/5333 cpy 13.5 cpd/4924 cpy 13.6 cpd/4972 cpy 12.5 cpd/4563 cpy 11.4 cpd/4165 cpy 10.5 cpd/3824 cpy 09.6 cpd/3512 cpy 08.9 cpd/3237 cpy 08.3 cpd/3017 cpy 08.0 cpd/2921 cpy 07.6 cpd/2758 cpy 07.1 cpd/2604 cpy 06.7 cpd/2457 cpy |
2018-08-23 [Sagacious Turkey]: They usually just mock the autistic and cringy roleplaying with asterisks (as well they should!) and then tell me to kill myself. They also claim B's D is just "lolrandumb" humor that isn't funny. BUT THAT'S NOT TRUE. IT'S FUNNY SOMETIMES, DAMMIT. I DISTINCTLY RECALL SOMEONE SAID SOMETHING FUNNY IN 2009!!
*punches a passing Misty really hard in the gut*
2018-08-23 [Mortified Penguin]: 
2018-08-23 [Mortified Penguin]: EIGHT DAYS (a week)!
2018-08-24 [Nuktae-tal]: I'm drunk! On vacation!!! Wheeeeeees spinny!
2018-08-24 [Pied Crow]: Hey, I think I hear a penguin singing in the dead of night!
2018-08-24 [Mortified Penguin]: It's just an elementary penguin, singing Hare Krishna. *kicks Edgar Allan Poe*
2018-08-24 [Mortified Penguin]: ...wait, what?! You don't have any vacation days left, you used them all up that time your entire family died and you took that afternoon off!
I'm going to have to heavily dock [Pillowthief]'s pay for this, he's a terrible supervisor. *starts cleaning his docking knife*
2018-08-26 [Nuktae-tal]: And now I'm home!
2018-08-27 [Pied Crow]: How do we know it's not the supervisor's super's fault?
2018-08-28 [Mortified Penguin]: That would also be [Pillowthief]. *starts cleaning a second knife*
2018-08-28 [Pied Crow]: So, you're going to dock his pay twice, is that it?
2018-08-29 [Pied Crow]: Hmmm, despite the urgency for comments, my clarification was met with silence... *note, note*
2018-08-29 [Mortified Penguin]: *glares and starts cleaning a third knife*
2018-08-29 [Mortified Penguin]: We still have two whole days. That's plenty of time to get another 600 comments.
2018-08-30 [Pied Crow]: With bells on our talons, Mort-bird!
2018-08-30 [Mortified Penguin]: 
2018-08-30 [Mortified Penguin]: 
2018-08-30 [Mortified Penguin]: 
2018-08-30 [Mortified Penguin]: 
2018-08-30 [Mortified Penguin]: 
2018-08-30 [Mortified Penguin]: 
2018-08-31 [Pied Crow]: Nevermind about the bells thing. I tried to find some, but the guy thought I wanted piercings on my face.
2018-08-31 [Mortified Penguin]: Wait, so now you don't want your face pierced?! Ugh... *annoyedly unplugs his power saw and throws it back into the soup*
I'm still charging you full price...
*starts cleaning his debt collection scythe*
2018-08-31 [Mortified Penguin]: SIX HOURS UNTIL THE END OF THE FRISCAL YEAR! *disappears for ten days*
2018-08-31 [Mortified Penguin]: FOUR HOURS AND FIFTY MINUTES!
2018-08-31 [Mortified Penguin]: FOUR HOURS AND FORTY-NINE MINUTES!!
2018-08-31 [Mortified Penguin]: TWO HOURS! Also, five minutes.
2018-08-31 [Sagacious Turkey]: 
2018-08-31 [Sagacious Turkey]: There's some classy content.
2018-08-31 [Sagacious Turkey]: You're welcome, you disgusting perverts. *spits at Misty*
2018-08-31 [Mortified Penguin]: Hmm, only 40892 comments before this comment. Should probably raise that up to 40900 in the next 40 minutes...
2018-08-31 [Sagacious Turkey]: 
2018-08-31 [Mortified Penguin]: 40895
2018-08-31 [Mortified Penguin]: 40896!
2018-08-31 [Mortified Penguin]: 40896.5!!
2018-08-31 [Mortified Penguin]: 40898...
2018-08-31 [Mortified Penguin]: 40899...!
2018-08-31 [Mortified Penguin]: Last comment of the friscal year. Unless someone else comments in the next one minute...!
2018-08-31 [Mortified Penguin]: And now it's next year... You've all been major disappointment
2018-08-31 [Mortified Penguin]: Here's a chart with numbers and words and stuff:
2018-09-01 [Pied Crow]: Eh? Timezones are lame.
2018-09-01 [Nuktae-tal]: That is a very impressive chart may I say!
2018-09-01 [Mortified Penguin]: Right? I worked really, really hard on it.
2018-09-01 [Mortified Penguin]: LIVE IN A CORRECT TIMEZONE, WHORE.
2018-09-01 [Pied Crow]: Well, oh, well, well, well... It can't be helped.
2018-09-01 [Mortified Penguin]: Jersey is a garbage state anyway. Nobody likes the North, you're all traitors to the Confederacy.
2018-09-01 [Mortified Penguin]: And you don't even make sweet tea properly! And you eat bagels instead of biscuits! You disgust me!
2018-09-02 [Pied Crow]: But...when in doubt, guess New Jersey!
2018-09-02 [Pied Crow]: Neat. We were twenty away from the 11/12 year. The rounded number is a nice touch, though. Really ties the place together.
2018-09-03 [Nuktae-tal]: That is a nice feature as well! Man it's good to be here again!
2018-09-04 [Mortified Penguin]: Nah, this place sucks. *kicks over a barstool*
2018-09-04 [Mortified Penguin]: It's Crow's alleged birthday! *places a birthday candle into a can of cat food*
*eats the entire can by himself and curls up in the fireplace for a nap*
2018-09-04 [Pied Crow]: That's right! I expect a collection of dragon statues by the end of the day!
2018-09-05 [Yuriona]: *offers musty dragon aquarium statue complete with dried on algae*
2018-09-05 [Mortified Penguin]: *hands over a grotesque, repulsive, and apparently very ancient stone statuette whose origin was Bob's Thrift Hovel (Now currently overstocked on broken ceiling fans! Buy twelve, get one free!!). The statuette is between seven and eight inches in height, and of exquisitely artistic workmanship. It represents a monster of vaguely anthropoid outline, but with an octopus-like head whose face is a mass of feelers, a scaly, rubbery-lookin
2018-09-06 [Nuktae-tal]: Huh... thsys a lot of words
2018-09-06 [Sagacious Turkey]: NO U
2018-09-06 [Pied Crow]: ... Wh... Mort-bird--! It's... It's beautiful!
2018-09-06 [Nuktae-tal]: Too much though?
2018-09-07 [Mortified Penguin]: Yeah, it probably was too much. I mean... $0.25 for some stupid looking squid dragon statue?! DAMN YOU, BOB'S THRIFT HOVEL!
*snatches it back from Crow and punts it out the window and in through the window of Bob's Thrift Hovel across the street*
2018-09-07 [Pied Crow]: Nooooooooo!!!! I was going to say something, but the site blew up before l could say it!! D:
2018-09-07 [Pied Crow]: Well, at least I got you...
*caresses the musty dragon aquarium statue*
2018-09-07 [Mortified Penguin]: How dare you accuse [Elftron] of such things?!
*slaps the aquarium statue out of your hand*
2018-09-07 [Yuriona]: Wow. That was exquisitely detailed in description. Almost as though the author truly wished the reader to have the clearest image painted in their mind's eye. Dragon style Cthulhu. Nice.
curse you. i saw it with ridiculous clarity despite merely skimming the contents for fear of having the irrepressible urge to draw it. curse you again, you wickedly devious devil you. *shakes fist*
2018-09-07 [Mortified Penguin]: You hush, corn shucker!
2018-09-08 [Yuriona]: Hush yourself! Corn shucking is an honourable occupation!
2018-09-08 [Pied Crow]: WHAT HANDS?!?!
2018-09-08 [Mortified Penguin]: Hand. I said hand.
2018-09-08 [Pied Crow]: ... Ah. So it is true.
WHAT HAND?!?!
*flaps wing(s)*
2018-09-09 [Nuktae-tal]: Yeah I wanna see it too!
2018-09-11 [Mortified Penguin]: YEAH! *shoves Yuriona*
2018-09-11 [Yuriona]: Well there would be no point to drawing it and hiding it. Unless it was awful. Or drawn in crayon. On a soiled napkin from Bob's diner. *is shoved and trips over the mummified bovine carcass in the middle of the floor*
2018-09-11 [Mortified Penguin]: Who said you were allowed to make Misty jokes?!
2018-09-11 [Sheamus Finn]: What? I thought Misty jokes were intellectual free use! *hides list of Misty jokes so no one can sue*
2018-09-12 [Mortified Penguin]: Nope, I'm the copyright holder. It's $60 a joke. However, do feel free to strike her all you want, they wouldn't let me register the concept of violence against her.
2018-09-12 [Nuktae-tal]: *punches Mort in the snozz*
2018-09-12 [Mortified Penguin]: MY HUGE JEW NOSE!! I'll sue you!
2018-09-12 [Nuktae-tal]: Bring it I have lawmen on my side!
2018-09-13 [Pied Crow]: Ooh, which kind of reference will they go with? Law & Order? Blue Bloods? JAG? Ace Attorney?!
2018-09-13 [Mortified Penguin]: *the case lingers in litigation for 15 years, before a judge eventually throws it out for being "stupid" and "not even a real case"*
2018-09-13 [Mortified Penguin]: I knew we should have just used The Courts of Elftown instead... *shrugs and eats ramen*
2018-09-13 [Nuktae-tal]: *steals wheelchair from child* yeah... always takes too long otherwise
2018-09-14 [Mortified Penguin]: Why couldn't you have told me that back then?! Great, and someone left the door unlocked 15 years ago and somebody stole my sandwich. And nobody left any food in Crow's cage... *points at the pile of rotted bones in the microwave*
2018-09-15 [Pied Crow]: Heck is wrong with you?! It's a hundred years and fifteen days too early to be thinking about Halloween!
*rattles*
2018-09-17 [Mortified Penguin]: SHUT UP IN THERE, BIRD. *turns the microwave on and goes back to hanging up Christmas decorations*
2018-09-17 [Nuktae-tal]: Oh crap... right... holloween... *unstuffs the pinata*
2018-09-18 [Mortified Penguin]: That was a turkey I worked really hard on... And now there's stuffing all over the shag carpet... *gives Nuk a 20% raise*
2018-09-18 [Sagacious Turkey]: *lies spread eagle, trussed up on the counter*
Oh yeah, now restuff me, daddy!
*his father simply shakes his head disapprovingly and washes a fist full of painkillers down with some bourbon*
2018-09-19 [Pied Crow]: Do not try hard to think that the turkey is an eagle.
2018-09-19 [Sagacious Turkey]: A bald eagle, to be specific. A Golden Eagle with Alopecia, to be specificer.
2018-09-21 [Nuktae-tal]: That's very specific *uses magnifying glass*
2018-09-21 [Mortified Penguin]: Stop burning ants and get back to work burning the lunch specials! *throws a sack of spiders at Nuk*
2018-09-22 [Nuktae-tal]: *pulls out tiny whip and forces spiders to make awesome table clothes*
2018-09-25 [Pied Crow]: ........... Oh! Table clothes! That's a good point, tables are always showing their leg. How indecent!
2018-09-26 [Nuktae-tal]: Yeah Mort keeps getting overly excited about them... *pulls up sexy spider stocking, to cover the sexy table legs*
2018-10-03 [Sheamus Finn]: Wait, they need boots...perhap
2018-10-03 [Pied Crow]: I have a footstool that wears shoes, but I've never noticed or considered thighs.
2018-10-03 [Mortified Penguin]: Weirdo. I'm constantly considering thighs.
2018-10-04 [Nuktae-tal]: *puts tiny lacy garter belts on Table thighs*
2018-10-09 [Nuktae-tal]: I'm posting again to try and improve the quota that no one else seems to care aboutlately.
2018-10-09 [Pied Crow]: Quota? To heck with quotas! I don't have to fill you any stinkin' quotas!
2018-10-09 [Nuktae-tal]: *starts shoving ballots down the Crow's throat* QUOTA!!!!!!
2018-10-09 [Pied Crow]: And just one more thing, sir, I have garbblwoblbaum
2018-10-09 [Nuktae-tal]: *climbs down and wipes sweaty brow with Crow's feathers* Hard days work that. *clocks out*
2018-10-09 [Yuriona]: Time for the night shift. *clocks in* Damn. She only filled half of his quota. *continues shoving ballots down the Crow's throat*
2018-10-09 [Sheamus Finn]: Wait let me help!! *Starts shoving from the other end*
2018-10-09 [Mortified Penguin]: *starts stabbing huge holes in Crow's gut to fit more ballots*
2018-10-10 [Pied Crow]: Ow!!! My eye!
2018-10-10 [Mortified Penguin]: Stop overexaggerati
*points at the eye floating in the soup on the other side of the room and goes back to the brutal stabbing*
2018-10-10 [Nuktae-tal]: *watched season bazententeen of psych.* hahaha oh robot spencer!
2018-10-10 [Pied Crow]: Hey, look over there! Someone removed themselves from your list of members!
... Er, I mean to say... Ow, my liver! Ow, my lasagna!
2018-10-10 [Mortified Penguin]: Your lasagna is fine...
*points at Misty's corpse*
2018-10-10 [Sagacious Turkey]: ROBOT SPENCER SUCKS! *punts him right square in the lug nuts*
2018-10-11 [Yuriona]: That's going to leave a dent.
2018-10-11 [Pied Crow]: Uh, can we wrap this lovely excursion up? I need to head over to Gary's soon to get the paper.
2018-10-11 [Yuriona]: Well I'm all out of legal ballots. I still have some Russian ones left.
2018-10-11 [Sheamus Finn]: I have a couple dozen parking tickets
2018-10-12 [Mortified Penguin]: And I have 4 tons of gravel and cement.
2018-10-12 [Pied Crow]: On second thought, maybe you should use some scalding hot oil...
2018-10-12 [Mortified Penguin]: Yeah, yeah. Sure, buddy. We'll get right on that.
*starts motioning for the cement truck to back up closer*
2018-10-17 [Pied Crow]: I'll accept this cement if you...squeeze it out of me later with that truck. How's that sound?
2018-10-18 [Nuktae-tal]: NO IT'S MINE! *Shoves Crow out of the way and opens sack to catch Cement as it begins to pour out.*
2018-10-19 [Pied Crow]: And after all I've been through! It's a surprise, to be sure.
2018-10-27 [Mortified Penguin]: *a customer comes in...!!*
2018-10-28 [Yuriona]: Whaaaaaaaaaaaa
2018-10-28 [Pied Crow]: D'goh, you're just saying that because I used up one of my jokes too soon.
2018-10-28 [Mortified Penguin]: *the customer pulls out a knife and starts stabbing Crow, for obvious reasons*
2018-10-29 [Pied Crow]: Did you expect anything less?! Ow.
2018-10-29 [Nuktae-tal]: *Grabs spare spoon* ON GUARD! *clangs on pots, for no real resin*
2018-10-29 [Mortified Penguin]: I EXPECTED A LOT LESS! *grabs the spare/only spoon and also starts stabbing Crow*
STOP MAKING ME STAB YOU SO MUCH, I'M TRYING TO TAKE INVENTORY OF ALL THE SPOONS!
2018-10-29 [Yuriona]: Here's one. *hands Mort random spoon* Found it in the broom closet.
2018-10-30 [Pied Crow]: All this silverware is getting tiresome... Can we start stabbing me with a mouth?
2018-10-30 [Mortified Penguin]: *snaps off Misty's jawbone and resumes brutally stabbing Crow with the jagged, rotting fangs*
2018-10-31 [Pied Crow]: Hm... I've been thinking... This stuff hurts, man.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAA
2018-10-31 [Nuktae-tal]: OH LOOK A PUPPY!!! *pets a rotting meatloaf*
2018-10-31 [Mortified Penguin]: *the meatloaf wags its tail excitedly*
2018-10-31 [Nuktae-tal]: SO FREAKING CUTE! ^W^!!!!!!!
2018-11-01 [Pied Crow]: X_x
2018-11-01 [Mortified Penguin]: SHUT THE HELL UP, WE'RE FOCUSING ON THIS CUTE MEATLOAF NOW! *kicks Crow's corpse in the ribs*
*tosses Misty's jawbone to the meatloaf, who barks happily and starts chewing it*
2018-11-01 [Nuktae-tal]: I WILL GET YOU MORE BONES IMMEDIATELY! *PLunges hand into Mort's chest to pull out a floating rib.* HERE YOU GO PUPPY!!!
2018-11-02 [Pied Crow]: Ow, my neck!
2018-11-02 [Mortified Penguin]: Ow, his neck!
2018-11-03 [Pied Crow]: Ow, your floating rib!
2018-11-03 [Yuriona]: *adds bbq sauce to rib*
2018-11-05 [Pied Crow]: Is bbq sauce okay for meatloaf puppies?
2018-11-05 [Yuriona]: I think so. It's gluten free at least.
2018-11-05 [Nuktae-tal]: WHAT!? HOW DARE YOU FEED VEGAN SHIT TO MY PUPPY! *Shovels salt and ketschup into the Loaf of Dog*
2018-11-05 [Yuriona]: It's not vegan shit. Its pure carnivore shit I assure you.
2018-11-06 [Pied Crow]: I want to say it's firebreathing, but people keep telling me that bbq sauce isn't hot.
2018-11-06 [Nuktae-tal]: Of course it's not hot. *drinks it like it's Soda Pop and feeds bottles to Load of Loaf*
2018-11-07 [Mortified Penguin]: That's stupid. BBQ sauce isn't hot. See? *splashes boiling BBQ sauce on Yuriona's face, which begins bubbling and melting away*
2018-11-07 [Yuriona]: No, not hot at all. Merely scalding. Good thing I keep spare faces around for just such an occasion. *wipes away sauce and skin*
2018-11-08 [Sagacious Turkey]: THOSE ARE MY FACES, SKANK! I HARVESTED THEM MYSELF! *violently backhands Crow to the floor*
2018-11-08 [Sagacious Turkey]: STOP LAYING AROUND ON THE FLOOR AND GET BACK TO WORK! *violently fronthands Crow back into standing position*
Table 3.7 ordered some meatloaf a few months back and I think they're starting to get impatient. *points at a sobbing family chained to the radiator*
2018-11-08 [Mortified Penguin]: *pistol whips one of the family members with a chainsaw*
Please stop struggling, sir, your chains are really scuffing up my precious radiator.
2018-11-08 [Nuktae-tal]: *cuts loofah puppy in half and serves it on rats backs to family*
2018-11-08 [Pied Crow]: SEE? I didn't have to do ANYTHING.
2018-11-09 [Mortified Penguin]: YEAH, WELL SO'S YOUR FACE! *spits a wad of chewing tobacco in Crow's so-called face*
Huh, I don't even remember chewing any tobacco...
*shrugs and goes back to eating ramen out of an ashtray*
2018-11-10 [Pied Crow]: That is disgusting! Ergo, I am disgusted.
2018-11-13 [Mortified Penguin]: Damn liar, I see that erection. *points at Nuk's raging semi*
2018-11-13 [shadowfire09]: I came just in time for the erections.
It’s like they summoned me
2018-11-13 [Yuriona]: Its an erection bee and no one told me? *pouts*
2018-11-14 [Mortified Penguin]: *the erection bee starts violently stinging Misty's face with its "stinger"*
2018-11-14 [Nuktae-tal]: Buzz buzz mother face fuckers! *stings people with my 'stinger' too*
2018-11-14 [Pied Crow]: Aw, man... I wish I had a raging semi-truck...
2018-11-16 [Mortified Penguin]: France had one a couple years ago.
2018-11-17 [Pied Crow]: ..............
2018-11-19 [Sagacious Turkey]: *drives through the wall in a raging semi-Prius*
2018-11-19 [Mortified Penguin]: That wall was my friend... :(
2018-11-20 [Nuktae-tal]: My raging!!
2018-11-20 [Yuriona]: We can rebuild it! We have the technology!
2018-11-20 [Pied Crow]: Huh? Go away, Turkey-bird, your holiday only exists in family shows! Apparently.
2018-11-21 [Nuktae-tal]: Ham you mean?
2018-11-21 [Mortified Penguin]: Ham was always my favorite holiday as a kid. Broccoli was my least favorite holiday. >:(
2018-11-22 [Pied Crow]: Oops... Is he a sagacious ham now?
2018-11-22 [Sagacious Turkey]: Your mom is a ham! *punches Yuriona into the furnace*
2018-11-22 [Sagacious Turkey]: Today is a special day for self-proclaime
2018-11-22 [Mortified Penguin]: MY FURNACE!! Great, now there's gross Yuriona stains all over it...
2018-11-22 [Mortified Penguin]: *hurls Paco into the furnace*
GO CLEAN THOSE STAINS!
*tosses a Windex bottle filled with gasoline in after him*
AND CLEAN THAT WINDEX BOTTLE TOO!
2018-11-22 [Pied Crow]: *laughs at the word "furnace"*
2018-11-22 [Yuriona]: All right! I was wondering how I was gonna thaw out. 8F is damn chilly for November. Gotta get this furnace up to temperature quick! *empties gasoline windex onto Paco*
2018-11-22 [Nuktae-tal]: The fumes are what cause fires... not the liquid! Don't you people know anuthing about seasoning?! *throws in a handful of c4*
2018-11-23 [Pied Crow]: *perches on the semi-Prius*
2018-11-26 [Mortified Penguin]: 
2018-11-26 [Mortified Penguin]: 
2018-11-26 [Mortified Penguin]: 
2018-11-26 [Mortified Penguin]: 
2018-11-26 [Mortified Penguin]: Now let us discuss these images.
2018-11-26 [Mortified Penguin]: Personally, I disagree with the offensive rhetoric in the egg one.
2018-11-27 [Pied Crow]: But, the form of the egg's shell is the best part!
*is trying to lockpeck the semi-Prius's door*
2018-11-27 [Mortified Penguin]: Here, just use the spare key. *hurls a brick at Crow*
2018-11-27 [Mortified Penguin]: Oh, wait. That's the key to Pillowthief's Rape Van.
*flips through a number of different bricks on his key chain*
Ah, he we go. Turkey's Corporate Rape Prius. *takes one off and hurls it at Crow*
2018-11-28 [Pied Crow]: YOU KILLED ME!
2018-11-28 [Yuriona]: *wraps Crow in crime scene tape*
2018-11-28 [Mortified Penguin]: You were already dead inside anyway.
*gently places a decorative bow on top of the wrapping*
*delicately lifts the corpse and drop kicks it into the ceiling fan*
Anyway, back to business. *starts smashing the Prius with a brick, while thousands of customers wait impatiently in line*
2018-11-28 [Pied Crow]: N-Nooo, not with a brick! At l-least use an over-sized brick, please!
*careens cleanly out a suspiciously, conveniently, openly open window*
2018-11-30 [Nuktae-tal]: *closes window slowly now that the body is gone* *whispers* just somebody that I used to know.
2018-12-03 [Pied Crow]: Don't worry, guys! I found out how to log back in!
2018-12-04 [Mortified Penguin]: Shh, you're dead now. No more tears, only dreams of tractors. *slowly pushes Crow back out the window*
Number of comments: 42262
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